The Strangest Contest

for 45 minutes...

The strangest thing just happened to me. I went to the ladies room at work, and when I exited my stall, a woman was already there washing her hands. I soaped up and started to wash my own hands. So far, this is all very normal.

I was about done and ready to rinse and dry, when I noticed that SHE was still washing. I felt like if I stopped washing my hands before she did, after all, she had started before me, she would judge me and think me a subpar hand washer.

So I kept going past my normal point of clean handedness and continued to wash. Then I noticed she was eying me up in the mirror. Eye contact was made. She kept on washing. I believe she was challenging me to …. yes. Yes. A Hand Wash Off.

Who was going to rinse first? Who would be the first to cave? To admit publically to inferior hand washing skills? Who was going to break?

Turns out, it was me.

Listen, I have work to do, and to be honest, I’ve had some issues with dry and chapped hands, so washing them to the point of bleeding wasn’t going to help that one damn bit. I just found it all a bit strange. Has this happened to anyone else? What’s the strangest thing you’ve encountered in a public restroom? The stories have to be staggering.

Every Day is a Win(e)dy Road….

Okay! You don't have to ask me twice!!

I am officially SIX weeks away from running my first half marathon, the Cooks Forest Half.

You would think I would be nervous, or worried, or sweating it, or furiously making plans to  be sick that weekend, but I’m not. I am totally stoked. I am EXCITED. I want it to be here. As of now, I am officially registered for three half marathons; the Cooks Forest Half, the Pittsburgh Half, and, the one that makes me actually straight up squee in excitement, the Healdsburg Wine Country Half.

That’s right. A half marathon that runs through Wine Country, on Halloween weekend. That is three of my favorite things in the world, together. Right there. Not only do you get to run and drink wine at the same time, you get to do it DRESSED UP!! Which reminds me of last Halloween, and how it went horribly, terribly, freakishly wrong.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

It’s hard to find people who feel indifferent to Valentine’s Day. They either really love it, or they really hate it. Right now, this very second, my Facebook feed is filled with people either wishing everyone a Happy Valentine’s Day, or people posting pictures of Cupid meeting a violent end. Sigh. People. Can’t we all just get along?

In Which I Pretend to be an Arctic Explorer Named Lars

This is a beautiful sight. For a post card or painting. In real life? In person? It looks cold. Very, very cold.

A big part of training for a distance race is mental. You have to mentally prepare yourself to run when exhaustion has set in, when you’re in pain, and most importantly, when you plain old just don’t want to run. Like, say, 7:30 this morning when I looked outside to see a fairly impressive coating of snow on the ground.

It wasn’t just the snow, either.  I could see large drifts of snow blowing around, a sure sign that hey, it just may be windy out there, too. Snow + wind + dear god, is it only 24? = there is no way I am climbing out of my nice, warm bed.

And then I did.

I figured it was like going off the high dive, or doing a shot that smelled questionable – you just had to hurry up and do it before you stopped to think about it. I had made plans to go with my friend Megan, so I was also sort of hoping that while I was getting ready, she would text me telling me she was bailing. I kept checking my phone:

Me – Are we still on for this morning?

Megan – YEP! I will be leaving here in 15! See you soon!! Do you have any sandwich bags?

Me – Yes, I have sandwich bags. 15 minutes, huh? WOW! You sure you’re up for this?? LOL

Megan – Yep. I’m thinking we can bust out 8 miles. You in?

Me – OH HELL YA!

But really, I wasn’t in. I hadn’t even brushed my teeth yet. She wasn’t backing out. I was going, whether I liked it or not. Time to layer up.

I may or may not have mentioned that I have embraced running for its health benefits, because I truly get pleasure from it AND it’s a whole new reason to go shopping. And shop I have, folks. I the short time I’ve been running, I’ve amassed enough gear to outfit at least five of me. Six if the weather’s nice.

I take this all very seriously, and I read up on things, and I follow advice, and I care about my hydration. Leading me to sometimes look like a well-meaning idiot when I head out. Which is exactly what Megan thought I looked like. See, she is one of those people who has been running her whole life, and she just pops on whatever and makes it work and she hardly ever needs water and I think she’s part camel.

She is just so effortless. Not just in her preparation, but also in her running. She can run literal circles around me. She is the type of runner who will answer her phone in the middle of an uphill run. I’m panting behind her, staggering to keep up, and she’s talking to her boyfriend, “Oh, hi baby. Just running with Bethany. How’s your day?”

So I should consider myself lucky that she even wants to run with me. I have to hold her back. But she doesn’t care. She just gently pushes me to run faster, and also drags out me out to run in the snow and risk hypothermia. Thanks, MEG!

Here is Megan, in snow and running gear that she stole from her daughter for our run.

And here's me, in $1,200 worth of performance gear. Very well hydrated.

I’m glad I ran this morning. I’m glad Megan pushed me to do it, and that I let myself be pushed. We got to almost six miles. Not the 8 she had hoped, but running in a few inches of snow is no joke.

And now I can have a few extra glasses of wine tonight. And that’s no joke, either.

Your in about to get a drinkness,

Bethany

 

East Coast Wine Geeks Wine of the Year, 2011. AS JUDGED BY ME!! ME!!

How do you pick just one....

For the second year in a row, I was lucky enough to be asked to judge the East Coast Wine Geek’s Wine of Year contest. And this is very smart of them. If there are two things I am really good at it’s drinking and being judgey.

If you aren’t familiar with the Geeks, it’s a group of five lovely people who like to drink wine and then tape themselves. I did this with somewhat disasterous results in previous blogs, but they seem to make it work. They all have different styles and favorites, so when they come together to judge a wine, hilarity and violence often ensue (just kidding. there is rarely violence).

99 Problems and Most of Them Revolve Around Bags

Just heading to work. Like any other normal human being.

One of the downsides I forgot to mention in my rant yesterday is that I have now turned into that annoying lady on the train with 87 bags. Purse? Check. Lunch bag? Check. Laptop bag? Check. Gym bag? Check. Super giant puffy coat that comes to your knees? Check! Yep. It’s official. I now have the radius of a minivan.

I feel bad for myself on the subway platform. I can see people eyeing me up. Stepping away from me. They don’t want to sit next to me. I don’t look like I’m heading to the office. I look like I’m heading to an Arctic excursion.

Get in Shape, Girl!

This is the face of FITNESS!!

I have discovered the secret to running faster: don’t be hungover. You’re welcome. I just did 5.12 miles at 9:17 minute miles. By far the best I’ve done. And it was gorgeous day to get out of the office and enjoy the sunshine.

My lunch time runs are quickly becoming a favorite, even though they do come with a couple of down sides. To whit:

The aforementioned grody shower rooms.

I get really, really red when I run. Like, people are alarmed with how red I get. Like, if my post-run face were a crayon color, it would be House On Fire Red.

He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother, Part II

I started pacing around the living room. What do I do? *sips wine* Could this be real? *sips wine* OMG am I going call him back? *sips wine* He left his number. I have my brother’s number. I can call him RIGHT NOW. *chugs rest of wine* *refills wine glass*

I decided to go up to our office and yes, call him back. My hand was shaking as I dialed the number. How do you open up this particular conversation? Oh, hay! This is Bethany. Got your message. So. What’s being going on these last 40 years? I am so not good in awkward situations. I just get all red and sweaty and DEAR GOD HE IS ANSWERING THE PHONE. “Um, Mike? Hi. It’s Bethany. I think I’m your sister.”

Get Your Butt Moving!

And God said let there be Butt and he made the Butt and the Butt was good

That, boys and girls, is the butt of one Lady Gaga. Love her or hate her, you cannot deny, the woman has a smoking backside. Her butt makes J-Lo’s butt feel bad about itself. Ladies in Brazil weep and moan over the fact that they, Masters of the Buttiverse, will never reach the cheeky heights of The Lady of Ga.

Why do I bring this up? Inspiration, my friends! This is burned into the back of my eyelids so that every time I am tempted to slow down or stop, I am reminded of my end goal: Gaga heinie.

He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother

The best thing about moments is that you never know which one is going to change your life. It can be any moment. An out of the blue email, a chance encounter at the store, a wrong turn in an unfamiliar neighborhood, or something as simple as a phone call.

And that’s how it happened to me.