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Get in Shape, Girl!

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This is the face of FITNESS!!

I have discovered the secret to running faster: don’t be hungover. You’re welcome. I just did 5.12 miles at 9:17 minute miles. By far the best I’ve done. And it was gorgeous day to get out of the office and enjoy the sunshine.

My lunch time runs are quickly becoming a favorite, even though they do come with a couple of down sides. To whit:

The aforementioned grody shower rooms.

I get really, really red when I run. Like, people are alarmed with how red I get. Like, if my post-run face were a crayon color, it would be House On Fire Red.

I have to walk through my office building in my running clothes. I know, I’m dressed, everything is all covered up. But I feel naked. I don’t want Todd from Finance checking out my bootie in my running capris.

I have to walk through my office after my run. Meaning I’m sweating and super red faced and huffing and puffing and then I get on the elevator with the Legal dept and have to be all like, “Oh, hi! Pay no attention to me over here. Sorry, I didn’t mean to sling sweat on you. I apologize. What? No, no. I’m not in cardiac arrest. I just get really red with I run.”

I watch enough TV to know that there is a 57% chance that someone has rigged our grody shower room with a video camera, meaning I may very well have a web channel that I don’t know about. I hope they get my good side.

But for all of the downsides there are also upsides! For example:

I don’t have to get up early to run, and I don’t have leave my family in the evening. I’m done. Done, done, done and just finishing my work day all red faced and sweaty. And not even caring. Cause I’m done. I just ran 5 miles. What did YOU do?

It is fantastic thinking time. I just clear my mind and let whatever pops up pop up. And today, this popped up:

I was a chubby little girl. My mom had a Piggy cookie jar, and the pig was holding a sign that said “Don’t Be a Pig!” I walked down to dinner one night to find that my grandfather had put said Piggy cookie jar on my dinner plate. I was eleven. That shit leaves scars.  So I begged my mom to get this for me. Imagine me. A little fat girl with glasses and a bad haircut, dancing around with a frigging ribbon (note: I looked NOTHING like the girls in the commercial. Not even close).

I wish I could go have a chat with that little girl. I wish I could say, listen. Your hair is going to grow out. You’re going to grow up and you’re going to be strong and happy and not only are you going to be in shape, but you’re going to sit at work , surrounded by pictures of your gorgeous family, at a job you love, and you’re going to be sweaty and red faced and you’re going to love it.

So yes. While lunchtime runs have their downsides for sure, it’s nice to be able to take the time to take care of yourself, and maybe silence some demons while you’re at it.

Yours in better mental health,



4 responses »

  1. For the record, I used to have super red face post run, but when you run often enough, it does start to calm down. After a spin class or running many miles, I’m merely pink faced instead of, “Are you dying?” red.

    GO GIRL!

  2. I totally had the same video, with the ribbon and the hula hoop thing and I’m pretty sure a baton was involved in some way, too. I’m pretty sure I did it twice and then went back to eating Oreos and watching Kids Incorporated. I guess I give props to the creators of this video for being ahead of the game with fighting childhood obesity, though?

    • I think we should bust these out and have a Get in Shape Girl theme party. That might very well be the coolest idea I have ever had. Ever.

  3. Okay, glad to hear I’m not the only red-faced runner. I’ve been to embarrassed to talk to anyone about it, thinking it was a sign that I’m really out of shape. I now believe it’s just a sign that we have really good blood-flow – which, I believe, means we’ll have many more wrinkle-free years. (That’s my theory, and I’m sticking to it!)


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