I am officially SIX weeks away from running my first half marathon, the Cooks Forest Half.
You would think I would be nervous, or worried, or sweating it, or furiously making plans to be sick that weekend, but I’m not. I am totally stoked. I am EXCITED. I want it to be here. As of now, I am officially registered for three half marathons; the Cooks Forest Half, the Pittsburgh Half, and, the one that makes me actually straight up squee in excitement, the Healdsburg Wine Country Half.
That’s right. A half marathon that runs through Wine Country, on Halloween weekend. That is three of my favorite things in the world, together. Right there. Not only do you get to run and drink wine at the same time, you get to do it DRESSED UP!! Which reminds me of last Halloween, and how it went horribly, terribly, freakishly wrong.
Casey and I attempted to do a Halloween run last year. We were all signed up to do the Freaky 5K in North Park, here in Pittsburgh. If you haven’t been to North Park before, it’s a huge, giant, sprawling mammoth of a park that was designed by a cruel, cruel person who didn’t want anyone to find their way around it ever.
We got up bright and early, we had a sitter come over, we got DRESSED UP. I was excited. I was SO excited. I had my heart set on running this race and Casey had agreed to run it with me, which made it even better.
Look how goddamned excited I look:
It was snowing out, a fact that made me even MORE excited. I actually love running in the cold. I’m weird like that. We get to North Park. And we can’t find the starting line. It’s okay! I remain upbeat and excited and assure Casey that it’s probably right around one of these bends, and hey! Having the low fuel come on just adds to the excitement!
Five minutes later my excitement was turning into anxiety, as bend after bend did NOT lead us to the finish line, but rather to another twisty and windy road that was one way in the wrong direction. I may or not have started raising my voice at this point. Ten minutes later and a minute after the race started, any excitement I had was now white-hot anger, directed at Casey, the morons who designed North Park, and the world in general. Casey finally sees a police officer and gets out to ask him if he can help us.
Turns out, we were right over the hill from the starting line BUT. We couldn’t get there because the race had already started and the roads were closed. We could park and get out and walk, but it was about a 15 minute walk, and did I mention the race had ALREADY STARTED?
I wasn’t merely upset. Upset if for people who didn’t spend the past two weeks being very, very excited about this. I was crushingly disappointed. I, all 36 years of me, ripped the devil horns off my head, crossed my arms over my chest, put my earbuds in and proceeded to listen to loud music while glaring at Casey, since I had decided that this was all his fault.
He stopped to get gas and when he got back in the truck, I had managed to get some gentle tears rolling down my cheeks, complete with lip tremble. It was a performance worthy of a bratty 16 year old girl, which is exactly what I felt like.
It took me the better part of the drive home to get myself in check. By the time we got to the house, I had calmed down. I put things in perspective. It was just a 5K. There are 5Ks literally every weekend. Casey didn’t get lost on purpose. I still had my health and two beautiful children. I mean really, how can you be upset with THIS is what you come home to:
I got over it and life moved on. Now I am training hard for my first half, and I am SO EXCITED FOR HEALDSBURG! I am already thinking of a costume. This is exciting. I am excited. Not only to run another half, but to do it in Disneyland for Classy Drunks, Wine Country, and to do it in COSTUME.
And just to be sure there aren’t any ‘incidents’ this year, I’m going to go ahead and put myself in charge of getting there.
Yours in asking for directions,