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Baseball, Boobs and Beer: The Perfect Sunday

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You can call me a bandwagon fan, you can call me a Johnny Come Lately, you can call me whatever your personal preference is for someone who has only recently become a fan of a team doing well. I don’t really care what you call me. I love the Pirates.

Hell, I love baseball. It all started innocently enough. Garrett Jones. HA HA. Just kidding.

Gratuitous Garrett Jones shot.

Casey was always a huge baseball fan, and he would watch the game, and I would read a book. He would try to engage me in conversations about baseball, I would pretend like I was sleeping.

Then I read Moneyball, discovered there was indeed a method behind the game, and BAM. I was hooked.

We have gone to about a zillion games this year, and we’ve bought a ten pack for the remainder of the season. And it was there, in the administrative offices of the Pirates, waiting for our behind the scenes tour of the park (membership has it’s privileges) that I saw a flyer for Pitch for Hope, a women’s only hitting, pitching and fielding clinic put on the Pirates coaches and players themselves.

Pitch for Hope benefited Glimmer of Hope, the nation’s only under-40 breast cancer study.

So wait. I could hang out with Pirate coaches and players AND help save boobies? Oh, and get a ticket to that afternoon’s Pirates/Tigers game? Sign me up.

That’s me, on home plate. Doing some pose, I guess? I’m going to go ahead and assume that you all think I look adorable.

I asked my friend Nicole to go. It’s not that she loves baseball, she doesn’t, but she loves day drinking. And I promised her if she came with me we would have many beers following.

That’s me and Nicole with Pirates first baseman Casey McGehee. If you ask me, he as too many E’s in his last name. After two it’s just showing off.

We had a blast. From start to finish, the Pirates put on a fantastic event. Clint Hurdle was there. He is a funny, funny man. This is my new BFF, pitching coach Ray:

That’s Ray Searage, the Pirates pitching coach. That light behind him? That’s the light of the lord baby jesus shining down on him.

We got to hang out in the dugout.

Me and Nicole with first baseman, Matt Hague. We met a lot of first base people. I guess they drew the short straws.

AND! My favorite part of the day! A fun little game I like to call Ambush the Pitchers! Here is me almost getting cold cocked by a very uncooperative A.J. Burnett (dude, I totally don’t blame you. If some stranger came after me with a camera before I had my first coffee… let’s just say you were kind).

Make sure you get my good side.

And the very affable, very sweet Jason Grilli. I don’t think they briefed everyone on the fact that 100 crazed female Pirate fans would be INSIDE the park that morning. Grilli showed up in his suit, and I swear panties started flying. We TRIED to get a picture, but this one old lady (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE) was literally dangling off his side. This is the best I could get before he was squired away by his handler:

See that tall guy behind me? THAT’S HIM! He is actually a pretty sweet pitcher and when he plays people say funny things like “Put some grilled cheese in that skillet.”

Afterward there was a brunch and raffle where Nicole and I managed to not win a goddamn thing, but Nicole did get molested by the Pirate Parrot. She said that it was wet and warm inside his beak. I don’t want to know.

I meant it. She was in there. Gross.

Casey and Nicole’s boyfriend met us afterwards, where I proceeded to make good on my promise of day drinking. I don’t have any pictures to post, so you will just have to trust me that it involved homemade Greek wine, learning how to swear in Greek, push ups in a Yellow Cab van, my favorite bar Cain’s, accosting people leaving mass to ask them why they believed in God, and an attempted interior tour of a Catholic Church.

Whether the Pirates won or lost that day is beside the point (I say this because they lost). What matters is they did a great thing for a great cause, and I had a great time. And really, that would make any day a great day.

Yours in appreciation of baseball and boobs,




4 responses »

  1. Dammit. I wanted to go last year. I really wanted to go this year. Dammit all to hell. I didn’t even need the lure of day drinking. Next year. Dammit.

  2. Sounds like a grand time. I think the Pirates do an excellent job at managing the “fan” experience, much more so than do the local team here.

    I don’t know about you, but we roasted our butts off at that game. I had about five 16-oz beers and only peed once.

    • We ended up heading to the Bowtie Bar inside the park around the 7th inning. I just couldn’t take the heat! SUCH a great game though. Down to the wire, just the way I like them!

      It was lovely to see you Saturday! Thanks for putting that together (with the lovely Cassie).


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