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MOAR ZERMBIES! – In Which I Finally Discover The Walking Dead

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Have you ever heard a story that for some strange reason stuck in your head? Some random factoid that fell upon your ears and stayed lodged in your brain forever? Like this story about country singer Faith Hill:

Faith Hill remade Take Another Piece of My Heart by Janis Joplin (which is actually, to me, an executable offense, but that’s a different post). She was asked in an interview if she had ever heard the song prior to recording it. She had not, she said, and that was by design because she did want Janis Joplin’s version to influence her ‘take’ on the song.

Just the act of typing out that paragraph and linking to that video made me want to puncture my ears. I don’t hate Faith Hill. Cry is a great song. But you don’t remake a Janis song. Just… no. Don’t. Anyway…

My point is, I never knew why I kept that fact in my brain, but now I’m glad I did, because I have a Faith Hill story. As you know, I made a series of Energy Zombie videos for work. I didn’t do this alone. I had my zombie expert friend Trish by my side. Seriously, she knows EVERYTHING about zombies. It’s off-putting.

I had never seen a zombie movie. Ever. Not Evil Dead, not Dawn of the Dead, not Shaun of the Dead, not Zombieland, NOTHING. And I certainly had never watched The Walking Dead. For one very good reason.

I am a giant wussball.

That’s right. Me. I can’t watch anything remotely scary/gory/mildly suspenseful without getting piss my pants, don’t sleep for a week scared. When Casey and I were dating he wanted to watch Paranormal Activity with me, and I said OK because I wanted him to think that I was a woman who laughed in the face of possible demon possession.

I slept on my couch for two months because the door to my attic was right outside my bedroom.

So when I went to make our Energy Zombie videos, I was a true and literal zombie virgin. I just went with my gut and let Trish be my guide. She taught me about shambling, infection, brains.. all the strange and creepy things zombie lovers know by heart. And between the two of us, I think we did a pretty darn good job.

We wanted to time our Energy Zombie campaign to coincide with the premiere of AMC’s The Walking Dead, which I had heard of but never watched because of the whole pee my pants thing. Zero desire. Negative want. Would rather eat toenails. Not happening.

Until last night. Most of my best/worst idea stories start out with wine, and this is no different. One of my absolute besties, Molly, is staying with us this week. We were sitting around trying to figure out what we wanted to watch since The Voice isn’t on 24/7, an oversight I am hoping NBC corrects in the near future.

Casey mentioned he would like to start watching either A.) The Walking Dead or B.) Pretty Little Liars. I was all like, let me ask Twitter, and Twitter was all The Walking Dead, and I was all, I’ve had three glasses of wine so let’s cue up season one, episode one, The Walking Dead.

And then in like the first minute Deputy Grimes blew the brains out of a little girl zombie, so I upgraded to vodka.

YOU GUYS, I freaking LOVE THIS SHOW. Sweet Jesus eating lunch at a Cracker Barrel – it’s frigging AMAZING.

Was I scared? Hell yes, I was scared. Did I piss my pants? No. Did I slightly overdo it on the vodka, rendering the last 15 minutes of episode three a little fuzzy? Yes. Yes I did. Am I going to keep watching it? You bet your sweet non-walker ass I am. Casey might never be able to travel overnight ever again, and you might want to buy stock in Smirnoff, but yes, I will keep watching.

I am glad I didn’t watch it before I made MY zombie videos though. I think my zombies are kinder, gentler, funnier, and quite frankly, way nicer than the Walking Dead zombies. I will leave you with episode two of our Energy Zombies – Rise and Shine. Enjoy, and check back next week to see what those zany Shambles do next!

Yours in buying a night light,



4 responses »

  1. Oh dear lord, not gonna lie. When I was watching this, the power at work flickered and then went out and shut down my computer. What have you done?!?!?!?!

  2. Yes! I love the show, too. Can’t wait to put our braaaaaainnnss together on it… 😉

  3. Oh honey do I hear you!! My bf is a huge zombie fan and I am a huge wuss. I started watching Walking Dead with the same reservations as you. No one wants to pee their pants, peeing your pants with witnesses would be mortifying!! The reason I fell in love with Walking Dead is because it rarely makes me jump. It’s creepy not scary. And, the biggest reason is that it isn’t about zombies. It’s about people and their fight for survival. It reduces the characters to their basic strengths and weaknesses. Glen is my favorite example of this, in the pre-zombie world he delivered pizzas. In the post-zombie world his skill set makes him a huge asset to the group and he has become a strong man on par with all the others. It is an amazing testament to human spirit.


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